If there’s one overarching theme you can stamp all over the ass of this exiting year, it’s denial. We saw experts denying political phenomena, politicians denying apocalyptic threats, activists denying facts (replaced by mob-approved figments), students denying their own adulthood, in favor of infantile regression. In sum, 2015 was a horrible year, mainly because we denied what was making it so horrible.
If our lack of attention and ambivalence forbids us from obsessing over one horrific crime for at least 48 hours, how can we actually convince a country to fight an existential threat responsible for that horrific crime?
Donald Trump’s hosting gig was neither a big win or a horrible loss for DT–which ultimately makes it a victory for him. Some thoughts:
1. HILLARY WILL INITIALLY LAUGH LIKE A DRUNKEN FAIRGROUND HARLEQUIN But it will be followed by an awkward silence, then she will address the moderator with a canned statement, and the world yawns. It won’t work, for anyone. 2. JIM WEBB WILL WIN SOMETHING There are no expectations for Webb, which is odd, since he’s the most qualified of the bunch to be president. War hero, winner of the Navy Cross, Secretary of the Navy, Senator. This guy makes everyone up there look like lightweights. I’ll say more later. 3. LINCOLN CHAFFEE WILL MAKE A LAME JOKE ABOUT THE METRIC SYSTEM And everyone will wonder at home, who is this weird guy and how did he get on the dais, which is a fancy word for stage. Some people might think he’s Steve Doocey. I might think he’s Steve Doocey. Steve Doocey might think he’s Steve Doocey. 4. BERNIE SANDERS WILL GO AFTER HILLARY ON HER TRADE FLIP FLOP, AND IT WILL HURT HER She will make the point that once she was for the deal, but since then the deal has changed over time, she’s now uncomfortable with it. She’d say anything to get elected, and will prove it
Since, like most people these days, I only watch a show in one multi-hour clump of multiple episodes, head resting on a folded pillow, eating dark chocolate almonds under the false assumption they’re healthier (the almonds fill up space where the chocolate is, I tell my wife), I finally caught up with the entire season of the Jim Gaffigan Show.
We’re all a**holes. I’ve just decided to do it in public, while you do it – mostly – at home. You, Gutfeld – are an a**hole, too. Admit it, as you write this very sentence. You. Are. An. A**hole. I’ve met you and your wife. I honestly do not know how she puts up with you. She’s a great gal. Fabulous. What she’s doing with you, an aging dwarf – astounds me. Seriously, have her call me.
Because it’s summer, and you’re supposed to spend a fair portion of it sweating under the blinding sun, devouring antiquated things called books – I figure I’d offer you my reading list so far. But instead of writing typical reviews for these following five tomes, I’m just gunna tell you what each book made me think about, and why.
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